As I've sat back and watched events happen these last few weeks, I've found myself thinking more than once, "Life's not fair."
From the beginning of my grandmother's ALS diagnosis, those words have come out of my mouth more than once. How could a healthy and active woman in her late 60s be diagnosed with this terrible disease? How could she lose her ability to walk and move on her own? And when she passes away at the young age of 73 and I left her room, I was literally brought to my knees with the words, "Life isn't fair."
Just last week, a sweet North Carolina family lost not one but both of their children due to a fatal car accident. One was two; the other a newborn. When I read the story, I turned to Stephen and said my seemingly favorite words as of late: life is not fair.
And yesterday, another sweet little life was gone too soon, a sweet boy who is now in the heavens. Again, I thought, This is just not fair. How could God take such precious lives from their families who need them so? Those families need and want those little boys, just as I need and want my Nonny.
I have questioned the universe, just as so many of you may have. I have questioned God. I've questioned anything and everything, and I've cast unnecessary blame. I've prayed and begged and pleaded that the Lord would change our fate. I've yelled and argued from a place of deep anger. But I've realized that no matter how great my sadness or how deep the darkness, it's not my right to question. There is a plan that is greater than I, and in everything there is a season.
I will stand by my statement that life isn't fair, because it's not, but it's also not supposed to be. It's hard to watch our loved ones suffer or experience great pain or endure the sadness ourselves of losing a loved one, and I wholeheartedly believe that we deserve that grief. But there is a purpose for all things under heaven. We must trust that ALL things in our life happen for a reason, no matter how it sounds. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end.
There will be trials and tribulations throughout our lives, no matter how big or small. It may not be fair that we didn't make the football team, or we didn't get into our dream school. It may not be fair that we didn't get the promotion we wanted or that we didn't get to go on a trip that we planned. Or it could be that it's not fair that we lost our loved ones. We live in a world where we are constantly plagued by the "It's not fair" sentence. But instead of saying it's not fair, perhaps we should say, I trust You.
I will always grieve, because I have lost a love so great and so whole that without it, my heart feels incomplete. But I also realize I am not alone. "And Jesus replies, You do not realize what I am doing now, but someday you will." What powerful words those are.