Monday, May 14, 2018

On Saying Not Right Now

No. It's such a negative word, right? And a word I have a really hard time saying sometimes. My mom reminds me all the time that's been in my inherent nature to stay busy since I was a little girl. I woke up wanting to know the plan, and I'm still that way as we get ready to head into my 27th year. 

I have never loved missing out on things - FOMO (fear of missing out) is a real issue around here. It would make me so upset when I was in college and I had to miss out on a social outing due to another commitment. And along with that, saying no began to get harder and harder. Even now, I spend countless hours on the road trying to fit everything in when I really just need to take a minute to myself. 

But last weekend, I was not scheduled to work at the store and Stephen and I had our staycation at the beach. It was the first weekend that I had absolutely no plans, other than the plan to relax. I had a few things I could have committed to but as Friday approached, I realized how freeing it was to have absolutely nothing on my calendar. I started my work week that next Monday feeling so refreshed. And since then, I'm making plans to say not right now a little more often.

I think in today's day and age, it's hard for everyone to take a step back - with commitments, school schedules, work obligations, social media "expectations" and more, all of a sudden you're drowning in things that are supposed to be fun that end up feeling like a chore. And what kind of life is that? I read a quote from Lysa Terkheurt that said, "We must not confuse the command to love with the disease to please." Wow. How poignant is that? 

Don't get me wrong - the things I may be saying not right now to may be things that I truly want to do. But will it be stressful to fit it in? Will it compromise the down-time needed for my health? Will it conflict with something I already committed to? Those are all things I'm going to set as my goal to ask myself. 

It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I was reviewing my 101 in 1,001 list that I realized that I hadn't read nearly as many books as I did a few years back. I absolutely love reading and it's my little bit of escape. But as of late, I've not made time for it - something that truly makes me content, happy and at peace. Each of us has that - maybe it's a coffee date with a friend, or a golf date with your dad, or a day at the beach with a good book - the thing that makes us feel refreshed and reset. 

But more than that, I want to have more time for the people in my life. I don't need constant activity as much as I need time with the people I love. Whether it's reconnecting with a friend over dinner, celebrating a friend's accomplishment, or having much needed family-time, those are the things I want to have time to say yes to more often. 

And so as we head into this new and crazy work week, that's my goal. Let's say yes a little more to self care, "me time," and healthy relationships and not right now a little more to all the extras.
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