Thursday, September 5, 2013

Be the Heroine

If you read this blog regularly, you'll find that the following is not usually what you see here. The vision behind it is not really for personal posts and rants, but more so focused on the things in life that I enjoy. However, I did feel the need to write something on this, just because it really hit home.

As I continued to unpack my things last night in my new apartment, I came across a favorite card that I kept from my grandmother (I keep those things like they're going out of style). It was just a little piece of snail mail saying that she missed me, but at the bottom, she wrote, "Remember to always be the heroine of your life, not the victim." Ever since reading that, I have been unable to shake that quote from my head, which must mean I really needed it.

This new adventure I'm embarking on has been bittersweet. Exciting, because it's something new. Nerve-wracking, for the very same reason. Most who know me know that I am a homebody. Though I adapt (eventually) to almost anything, change is not the easiest thing for me. I loved my college years, but even those I had to adapt to. I'm incredibly grateful to have a good job right out of college (especially when the job search can be so difficult) and to be closer to my boyfriend, but it is certainly hard to pick up and move to a new place where you know few people.

Looking around my apartment when I woke up Monday morning, I felt okay. The place is adorable, and the "pretend interior designer" in me loves to design it just how I see fit. Yet as the day went on, my uplifting attitude turned sour, and I felt defeated and saddened just as I had the two days before when my dad left me there, followed the next day by my mom, grandmother, and boyfriend (who is out of town for the next few weeks). 

I've always thought my grandmother is a woman of wise words, and she reminded me over the phone during my breakdown late Monday night that I just needed to give it time. I was telling myself that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't adjust to something new, when instead I should be grateful of all I have been blessed with and lucky that I have the opportunity to begin a new career and explore what is out there. My mom, another wise woman herself, also told me that I have to try new things, and that if I had never tried this, I would have certainly regretted it (she is right).

Yesterday -- though I woke up sick -- was a much better day. I looked forward to going home to my new apartment after work, to organizing my things, to taking a trip to Target to pick up a few necessities (and a few wants, too!). The things I was doing felt normal, just like they had in Wilmington or in Raleigh. And this morning, when I woke up, I felt pretty normal, like I had a routine, and Sophie (the pup) and I took our morning walk, ate breakfast, and headed to work.

I desperately needed to come across that card last night. It was an easy reminder that life is an adventure. There is no reason not to branch out, spread my wings, try something new. I don't need to play the victim -- acting downtrodden and upset about the changes in my life, when 1) I made the choice to do these things and 2) I couldn't be more lucky to start a new career and be closer to SW.

It's easy to want to be the victim when you get a speeding ticket the day you're moving to a new city (yes, that happened to me) or when you try to iron your shirt only to realize your iron is leaving a lovely residue all across the front (yes, that happened too).

But guess what? Other people have problems much bigger than those. Some are fighting diseases that will eventually take their life. Others may be living on the street because life hasn't dealt them the best cards. The list could go on and on. 

So, today and everyday, I am going to remember to be the heroine of my life. It's important to take charge, make positive decisions, and spend time with the people you love most. Will I miss not being able to call upstairs for my family every single day or driving a few minutes down the road to see grandparents and friends? Of course I will. But I'm excited that God has given me an opportunity that basically fell in my lap -- and that I have the chance to pursue it. I get to wake up everyday, take my sweet pup to work with me, and lay my head down in an adorable apartment that is surrounded my shops -- not a bad setup, I'd say. I look forward to getting completely adjusted in my new environment and find comfort in the fact that home is not too terribly far away.

Always remember to be the heroine, not the victim. It will make all the difference, and your life will be so much happier.

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